I hate blogging. Let me be more specific. I don't like writing in general. I am one of those people who never took notes in school and I can't translate my thoughts into a journal. That is why I love having friends I can talk to and vent my thoughts. My mentor Rob Cupp said I was one of the most complex people he had ever tried to pick the brain of. I would rather be an awesome storyteller than writer anyways. That being said, I wanted to get some of my thoughts out on here.
I turned 23 yesterday. I am happy with where my life is right now. I get to serve the Lord by serving people in one of the most beautiful countries in the World. I have an awesome family who I love dearly. I have amazing friends who I get to walk life with. Most importantly, I have an awesome Savior who Loves me and lifts me up even when I seem to screw up like it is my second job.
There are still things I want though. I hope I don't sound greedy. I know that if I died today I would go blessed with the life I have lived so far and would go with a full heart. But there are more things I want for my life.
I want to be a Godly husband to a woman who love Jesus and brings me closer to him daily. I want to be a father to kids who have the opportunities I never had and be the first pastor in their lives. I want to finish school and see what career field God puts me in. I want to be in at least one cage fight, or at minimum a pro wrestling match. Okay, so maybe that last one won't ever happen. A boy can dream.
My hobby as of late has been laying in bed dreaming about those things. I have a bad habit of thinking about the future too much and not enjoying what God has for me right now. I was literally in the DR a week and I had a thought something like "Okay Hunter, what are you going to do next with your life?" The problem with this kind of thinking is that it can never accomplish any of these things for me. Even worst, I spent my time dreaming about these things instead of reading my bible and going to the Lord in prayer. I could feel my spiritual life tanking, but my retreat was going to my mind in fantasy and not in the Lord.
But then I heard this verse in a sermon.
"Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37:4
Now I had heard that verse plenty of times in the past. I'm not sure why it struck such a cord with me this time. All I know is this is all that has been going through my head the last week.
I have the unique opportunity in my life where I get a chance to pursue God away from the distractions of America and all the comforts of home. I am learning that is one of the main reasons I am here and one of the main reasons I never got close to accomplishing any of those things while I was in South Carolina.
God moved me to another country so that I would put ALL of my delight in him. He wants to give me the desires of my heart, but he has to be the person I desire most before any of that can happen. Honestly he wasn't my main desire when I was home. He was an important aspect of my life, but not my everything. Things that he uses to glorify him were my everything (Small group, Church, Family), but not Jesus himself. This has been a hard transition but also a very beautiful one. For the first time ever, God was literally the only person I had to talk to. And when I mean literally, I mean I felt like I was one of those weird kids in movies who has an imaginary friend. The Good News is, God is not imaginary. He is not dead. He is alive and as real as anybody reading this right now. And at the end of the day, I am finding myself drawn closer to him and I am excited to see how I am refined because of this.
Please continue to pray for me as God continues to work in my life and as I serve him in the Dominican Republic.
In Christ,
Hunter
